‘Twas days before Christmas
Nerves ready to snap
When it suddenly dawned on me—
I need a Holiday app!
(“Apps” for those
Living under a rock
Are software programs
Specially concoct’d,To upload upon
Your mobile device
And assist with tasks
Or give you advice.)
No need to be mailable, they’re download available…
With 2.5 million apps on Google Play
You can switch from app to app 6,850 times a day.
Yup, change your apps 5 times a minute
Fix a problem before you even know you’re in it.
No need to fret
Or cram the brain
With pesky to-do’s
Or tasks that remain
(Holiday junk food
Turned my brain to goo
Thank heavens for apps,
Or I’d never get through.)
The solution to everything
When inspiration won’t come
Is to download an app
And *poof* good as done.
(How did Mom and Dad do it
Back in the dark ages
Stuck with paper and pen
To manage Holiday rampages??“Daddy, please tell me
‘bout when you were a chap
Walking uphill to school
Without even a map app…”)
So, without a further ado
Let’s upload the apps to help us get through
The mayhem and madness of this Holiday
And do it in the high-tech 2019 way.
Kids move over
I need Santa’s lap
—no, wait, never mind—
Even for that, there’s an app.
(*Ahem*)
For Christmas this year
To experience the best cheer
I’ll need app-based solutions
For the following executions:
An app to cook dinner
Or to recommend where to eat
An app to decorate the house
And bake cookies and treats,
Need an app for the shopping
To manage budgets and lists
Need an app to clip coupons
Wherever savings exist,
An app to make cards
An app to send invites
An app for holiday tunes
An app for holiday lights,
A virtual Santa
App-on-the-go
With his virtual reindeer
All in a row,
Kids conference call him,
Talk to him direct
There’s no more confusion
No Christmas morning wrecked,
A dial-up app
For “Naughty and Nice”
In a nano-second
Santa checks it twice.
An app to monitor
The Elf on the Shelf
An app to spy Santa
Requires NOAA stealth.
For the excessively greedy
I need an app with a cap
For the excessively sleepy
I need an app for a nap,
For the pets in the home
Need an app to make treats
For the UPS delivery guy
Need an app for receipts,
For the endless commercials
Need an app just to snip it
For that chaotic Congress
Find an app just to zip it!
Personally Improve in the Christmas Groove
Need an app to monitor
My saturated fats
Points, carbs, and proteins
During calorie combats,
An app to advise
How to stay trim and fit
Count my walking and pilates
(Maybe a holiday bonus to just sit?)
An app to count heart rate
An app reminding to breathe
An app for blood pressure
And for headaches to relieve,
Then, beyond
My activities and food
I’ll need an app to monitor…
…My frenzied mood,
An app to meditate,
An app for good sleep,
An app to find my Zen
An app to think deep,
Apps to distract
From my growing worries
That something’s still missing
As I scurries and hurries…
Oh, no! This is all wrong
This cannot be right!!
Why can’t I download
A Silent Night?
And with a gazillion apps to
Boggle my phone
Why is it that I suddenly
Feel so alone?
Perhaps some things
Just can’t be replaced
By downloading an app
We need each other – face-to-face,
No apps are available
(believe me, I searched)
To tell us to “Fear Not”
Or bring peace on earth,
For the greatest “upgrade” of all
Came in a low-tech way
The Savior who was born
In a manger, Christmas day.
Wishing you and your family all the best
In a human-connected Christmas, may you find peace and rest.